Wednesday, July 2, 2008

26 things we can all learn from WANTED



  1. Don't stand on the "X".
  2. If you're quick enough, you can curve a bullet's flightpath.
  3. Regardless of "initial curvature", the flight path of the bullet will not change as it goes through objects (like 8 skulls).
  4. Receiving 3 million dollars you don't deserve turns you into a jerk really quickly.
  5. Some ATMs are capable of making accurate assessments of your life.
  6. If you're best buddy is banging your girlfriend, why not buy him condoms
  7. Always obey THE LOOM OF DOOM. Do not question it, it knows all. It even knows all about Laser eye surgery.
  8. When the LOOM OF DOOM comes up with a target, there is only one person with that name.
  9. The LOOM OF DOOM has somehow completely ignored the possibility of assassinating Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Mugabe (ohh! topical!) etc...
  10. Binary code has been around for a thousand years and is the official language of Fate.
  11. DON'T stand on the "X"!
  12. Being encased in wax makes wounds heal faster.
  13. When your all out of the wax bath, fill it up with water and lay some broken plastic on the top of it instead.
  14. In some super secret assassin organizations, punching recruits in the face a lot is considered a legitimate training technique.
  15. Cops will not continue to pursue the bright red viper if it is missing two tires creating sparks along the road.
  16. Rats REALLY love peanut butter, even if its laced with explosives.
  17. Rats can totally fill up an entire building within, like, 30 seconds of being released.
  18. Angelina Jolie can carry off the Amy Winehouse heroin addict look, bones, tattoos, big head and all, for a whole movie.
  19. You can be a lethally powerful hitwoman even if you have arms as thin as spaghetti.
  20. Garbage trucks are bulletproof
  21. DON'T STAND ON THE "X"!!!!
  22. You can have narration in your movie even if it does nothing to advance the plot, or add humour, or much-needed exposition.
  23. Googling "Wesley Gibson", without quotes, doesn't return any results. (????)
  24. If someone takes your job at work they will look just like you from the back.
  25. You can make a movie that looks like a 6-year old wrote the script, make it look dumb and replace plot with explosions and still get it rated higher than Smokin' Aces.
  26. DON'T STAND ON THE..... oh never mind.